A taster.... from the very

A taster....

from the very funny How to fail at writing

11. Whatever you do, don't finish anything. Just keep starting new fragments. (Any ideas prior to your latest suck anyway.) Or endlessly torture your existing manuscripts until you drain them of any vitality they might once have had.
12. If you do finish something, immediately share it with someone who can be counted on to tear it apart, tell you you're wasting your time, and imply you're an idiot for ever imagining you could write. Believe this person — s/he wouldn't say it if it weren't true.
13. Be sure you never actually submit your work for publication. Take the decision out of the editors' hands: reject it for them.
14. If a story gets rejected, don't send it anywhere else — obviously it was no good. In all likelihood, you aren't either: be sure not to pass up the opportunity to consider giving it all up.