Mr Grumpy

Below is the text of an e-mail I just sent to the hotel I am currently staying in:

I am not normally grumpy and try to see the best in people and situations. I also know you are just starting up BUT here are a number of reasons why I am feeling grumpy in your hotel:

A bizarre registration system and poor advice from staff in the individual hotels which resulted in four trips back and forth before we got into our room.

Not being seated on the first day breakfast and taking several attempts with several members of your waiting staff to arm myself with coffee and toast.

Being made to sit with people I didn't know on the second morning despite the availability of lots of tables. Even if it does get busy wait until you have the problem before cramming people together.

The fact that there were no snacks available in a conference centre hosting 350 people.

The fact that the broadband in my room only works with one computing platform - not mine.

The fact that if I want to have a quiet bath while my wife watches TV I can't turn the bloody piped sound down in the bathroom.

Getting food poisoning while here.

Being locked out of my room while desperate to get to the toilet because of said food poisoning and finding I can't because you hadn't noticed our multiple day booking and had blocked the key.

Not having any room service in a hotel of this size and at these prices is ridiculous.

The only food available in this god forsaken car park come building site is £27 for an over important restaurant meal when all I wanted was something plain and simple.

Yours

etc